Almost
by Honey Funny Bunny
Summary: Wishing for her happiness came naturally to him. Letting go, however, was going to be difficult…


**Almost**

The day Ikuto left to find his father, Amu realized something.

Something I never really wanted her to see.

Sitting on the damp grass beside me, she murmured, "I think…I love him." A blush colored her creamy cheeks beautifully, but it wasn't because of me. "I guess I was just too stubborn to realize it."

I'd already known, but I'd selfishly left it for her to discover herself.

Because I'd foolishly thought I had a chance to change her mind…to make her truly fall in love with me.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. No words were coming up my throat, and, if there were any, my dry mouth wouldn't let me speak.

"Hey, Tadase-kun."

I didn't bother looking her in the eye. It would only make things worse…

Instead, I stared down at the grass, pretending as if the green blades were the most fascinating thing at the moment.

Really, I was trying to hide that tear that'd slipped from my eye.

"We'll always be friends, right?"

Friends.

It wasn't enough. It would never be.

"No." I lifted my head, unashamed of my tears, and stared into her golden eyes. They were wide with surprise and confusion.

"Tadase-kun…?" Amu murmured questioningly, one hand tight around a single blade of grass. "W-what do you mean?"

The words were there, coming up onto my tongue, and my lips allowed them to be voiced. "I won't give up, not yet. Amu-chan, I love you, and during the time Ikuto's gone, I…" Her amber eyes broadened, but they only encouraged me further. "…I'll make you fall in love with me."

I was aware of my foolishness. I was aware of the trouble I was causing her. I knew that I only had a slim chance left, and it was fading more and more as I spoke.

But I kept going.

"When Ikuto comes back…you can make your choice." I took in a breath, paused to let it sink in, and finished. "I know I'm being a…an inconvenience, but Amu-chan, I…I want you to love me, too."

Without any warning, I felt the pain show up on my betraying face. Without my consent, tears escaped my eyes, running down my cheeks, my chin, my neck…

"Tadase-kun…" She was breathless as she looked at me. A small smile appeared on her features, but it wasn't one of happiness. Her legs wrapped around her knees tightly, securely, she stared down at the ground. "I don't want you trying so hard for…for me."

I took her chin and raised it so that our eyes met. Her small, delicate lips were in the shape of a startled "o". "Please, close it," I chuckled gently. "I might do something sudden, something you wouldn't approve of at the moment…"

"Tadase-kun…" She wasn't making anything easier, whispering my name like that.

"I _want_ to win you over," I assured her. "I know it'll be difficult, considering how you said Ikuto's name with such…love…" I paused to swallow, preventing more tears from breaking away. "But if it'll take me months, years, I'll do it. I'll keep trying until you can truly say, 'I love you'." It was a promise; I knew it, and made sure that she did, too.

I meant everything that I'd said that day.

I knew I would always love her, even if she could never feel the same way, even if it would rip me apart every minute that I couldn't say she was mine.

But for now, I had to try.

-

From that day on, I kept my word.

I asked her out as much as I could, disguising the dates as "important Guardian outings". I knew she wasn't fooled, but, much to my joy, she didn't refuse any of my offers.

And once, as I took her out to the shopping mall and shared a strawberry smoothie together, she'd smiled. Not the kind that people force onto their faces to hide their inner feelings, but a sincerely happy smile. I hadn't commented on her finally being happy, instead silently cherishing the seconds the grin lasted.

She was starting to regain her light. Everyone noticed it – how she was smiling more often now, how her eyes were slowly turning that beautiful golden once more.

And everyone thought that I had been the one to help her shine again.

I believed it, too.

I believed in that special sparkle that shimmered in her eyes whenever she'd look at me. I believed in that loving way she said my name. I believed that I was making her heart beat faster than it normally did.

I believed that she was starting to love me back.

For a moment, I saw that my efforts were finally starting to work.

But, because of my persistence, I was blinded. I was seeing all the wrong things, all the…outside things.

I didn't question what she truly felt inside. From that day when I made my stupid promise to make her fall in love with me, I never did.

That must've been my mistake…

-

The day Ikuto returned, I realized something.

Something I never wanted to see, but had always rang true.

Amu came rushing into the Royal Garden, her three Guardian Characters flying excitedly behind her. Her whole body was glowing with bliss, and my hopeful heart began to thud eagerly…illogically…

I thought that she was finally going to respond to my confession.

"Ikuto's back, guys!" She announced, her flushed cheeks stretching into a wide grin.

I was wrong.

"Really, Amu-chi?" Yaya hopped out of her seat and ran to Amu's side.

Amu nodded vigorously. Both of her hands were in clenched fists, and her shoulders were trembling in anticipation.

"So, that means today is…" Rima joined the conversation, smiling with uncharacteristic, rare delight.

"Oh? Amu-chan, you're going to confess today?" Nagihiko spoke up. He flashed her an encouraging thumbs-up. "Do your best!"

"Y-yes," Amu replied, her fists unfurling. Playing with her fingers, the red on her cheeks darkened. "T-thanks, everyone…"

I saw it there.

She was shining, but her light wasn't mine to gaze at.

Among five hearts, only one was falling apart.

I was alone. Turned invisible by my sorrow.

I didn't want to hear anything else. At that moment, all I wanted was to run away. Slowly, I stood up off my seat, involuntarily becoming the center of attention.

Amu's smile quickly disappeared as our eyes met. I could feel the pain being conveyed through my gaze. My vision blurred as tears threatened to fall, and I stiffly began to walk.

I wasn't surprised by the sound of my voice coming through my numbed lips. It came out as nothing more than a quiet murmur, but I knew everyone could hear. Slowly, I forced a smile. "You've made your choice, haven't you? I…I'm happy for you." It was a lie, and we both knew it.

I wanted her to be happy, now and forever, but if it meant giving her up to someone else…

"Tadase-kun…" Her voice, and four pairs of sympathetic eyes on me. I closed my eyelids and tuned everything out.

"Good luck…" I whispered, but I might as well have been screaming. A stray tear fell from my eye and ran down, all the way to my neck. "…Hinamori-san."

With that last sentence, my feet led me out the door.

I didn't bother looking back.

-

I'd lost.

My efforts had been blown away by the wind, having simply been defeated with the return of her love.

And now, I was left with nothing but my tears. They didn't help at all. Tears couldn't wash anything away.

But I was the one at fault, wasn't I? I'd foolishly tried to win her heart over when it had already been captured in someone else's hands. It always had been, and I'd only been able to seen it at this point. And now, I was being punished for being so oblivious.

I'd told myself over and over again that I was close to reaching my goal.

When, in reality, I'd never been close at all.

--

**Note: **Shugo Chara's ending soon, isn't it? The manga, anyway. It looks like it's going to be an Amuto ending. ): Well, whatever, I will always love Tadamu more.

**Thanks for reading~! :)**

Please review (if you have the time)?


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